06 November 2007

los banditos

los banditos, collectively, are me and my siblings. in birth order (but not birth names) it's me (dopez), willardo and virginia. we are close in age, with each of us about two years apart and four separating me and g. we have also been known as the 'children of the dark' because of our morning monster steez and late late hours (even as kids!).

we love, understand, push, infuriate, tease, take care and generally fack with each other in ways that not just your family, but specifically your siblings, are want to do. they amaze me every day and are two of the closest people to me on this here whole planet. i thank all my lucky stars and rub all the buddah bellies, every day, for these two.

the stories stack high and the inside jokes go deep (just like your mom) for the banditos. from time to time, i'll share 'em here. they say it's ok to do so but i know better. they say ok now but given the opportunity they won't hesitate to either force feed me pudding (true story) or put a spider in my purse. whatevs. i was born first and this is how i roll.

bandito highlights from this week:

many have pointed out that our brother looks like t.i. he does. he's got all the girls at his regular jamba juice whispering. his daughter (niece extraordinaire) translates the girl speak and promptly tells him, "those girls like you." he responds, "i wish i had that t.i. money."

recently he was riding the bus when a stank ass wino got on (oh city living!). i'm sure this cat had them straight up black wavy stink lines coming off of him. steamy! everyone sighed and groaned. they were all sending their best telepathic signals to keep this dude moving. with the whole back row to himself, will is chillang. he's got his ipod on low and sitting in his favorite seat, the center (more leg room he says). stank ass is slowly making his way up the aisle. he looks to his left. he looks to his right. he's mumbling as he eye balls each passenger. "i ain't gon sit next to you" he says in the general direction of this woman. fack yous and other garbled sounds are heard when he finally decides and says, "i'm gon go sit next to t.i."

will couldn't help but laugh and let that stank man have a seat.


our sister is getting married next summer. {whoa. i just stared at that sentence for hella long. because we're so close in age, i've never thought of either of them as my baby brother or sister. it's only been with all this wedding talk that i've been thinking of her as little. this giant grown ass woman step makes her seem small. when we talk about it i seriously picture her elementary school self, sitting on the bottom bunk eating cereal but with a veil on! ha, in real life, while she was eating said cereal our cat jumped in through the window and started drinking the milk. oh how g cried. she hadn't quite developed her appreciation for interspecies mingling. she must've been real young because had she been older (read more aggro) she might've taken that same bowl and just thrown it against the wall.}

anyway, the marriage and wedding it's all bombayla. they are working on the details themselves. here's a message i got from her earlier

so i'm starting to look at "bridal" shoes (YUCK) since you know about shoes and shit....do you know of any that don't look like they are from Mission St? heehee i'm in jerk mode after looking at helluva them and they all look the same and they all seem kinda stumpy-licious. and them dyeable joints scare me and my toes. labs ni labs

i love her sense of sentimentality.

i didn't have my halloween costume until the day of. in a panic i had asked my brother for suggestions. he writes back

you can never go wrong with being an animal

he was going to be a girl aka willina. he ended being a ninja aka shinobi. he was putting on his mask in the lobby of bossy's apartment when a lady neighbor came up on him. he immediately said, "it's OK! it's halloween." fool. he proceeds upstairs where he ding dong ditched us! i swear he was on the ceiling as bossy stuck her head in the hallway looking both ways for this nutjob.

during our halloween/antm soiree we're chillang and talking and shinobi decides to tumble on us. his goal was to fall and roll as silently as possible. now you see him, now he's in your lap. afterwards, he asked,
"what were you guys talking about when i rolled in front of you?"
"i don't even know now because i was startled so. you were in the convo don't you know?"
"no, i was too busy thinking about my timing and spacing i didn't even hear what you guys were saying."
"nice one, shinobi."

even later that night, we're walking my dag 'round the park. he is in full costume. this fool, will not dag, was hiding behind trees and trying to creep up on me the whole time. ugh. thankfully the police that roll through the 'hood didn't shoot him for almost attacking me. will says, "of course not because they can't even see me!" as if.

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