summer lovin...happent so fast, had a blast

J U L Y
D C

i thought it was going to be a nerd fest field trip to dc. totes wrong. i irritated my fam by breaking into patriotic songs. i was feelin dc and all its history. it was a power trip of sorts.

feelin it!

hella snipers up top. you don't stand a chance. best part? seeing bo being walked out on the lawn. i thought peeps were going to tear the fence down, they (yes, and we!) we're so excited.

summer lovin...happent so fast, had a blast

J U L Y
N Y C

^ the bronx, nyc 14th fl

i was frying my ma's famous lumpia for a party. she brought lumpia wrappers from california. she don't play. i couldn't take the fry daddy, jr. heat so i got out the kitchen.

^ jones beach, ny

i haven't ever paid to go to the beach in california. however, i do appreciate all the garbage cans. we brought home made sandwiches and had ice cream on the beach. thankfully, it didn't start to rain until we got back to the car.

^ the bronx, ny

more rain.

^ west village, nyc

gelato. so nice we went back twice.

^ washington square park, nyc

en route to my birthday dinner. i had been indoors, sick with a poison rash, for almost a week. can ya tell i'm happy to be out?

^ soho, nyc

^ times square, nyc

totes mary tyler moore moment feeling

fun slide

i had seen a picture of the fun slide in the newspaper and immediately wanted to check it out. i had never been down a slide like it in my life. the slide had just been set up at the sf giants fair.

once at the fair, i start checking out their operation. it's much taller than i expected but i'm ok. it's a bunch of kids slip sliding down. wait, is it only kids?

to get to the top, you have to climb, single file, up this rickety metal staircase. the kind that you can see through and see the sky and ground.

we're in line. my normal pre-ride anxieties start firing off. nothing new. then auntie buzzy buzzerson gets in line behind us. bb is a 20-something female and appears to be accompanying a nephew type person. she speaks. i get buzzed. i want her to simmer because i've got stairs to climb in front of a lot of people.

the nephew type creature is startled to find out that buzzy is going up the slide, too. he says she's going to break it. the floor beneath me bottoms out as i'm heavier than she is. i try to turn and wiggle out of line. i try to be joe cool about this because the whole ride over, all i could talk about was getting down that slide. and now here we are, about to ascend the stairs and i'm trying to do the ole sliparoo. dood, i could not fathom getting to the head of the line only to be turned away (catastrophic thinking).

buzzy asks sprays the operator with her booze fumes by asking, "is there a weight limit?"

he shakes his head. his eyes go dead. he doesn't understand what she's saying.

so louder always helps right? "IS THERE A WEIGHT LIMIT? LIKE I DON'T WANT TO BREAK IT"

he says, "no, there is no wait."
she, "NO. IS THERE A WEIGHT limit"
he, "no, there is no wait."

d stops the foolishness by putting that spanish to work. phew! no weight, or wait...we're next.

i just kept my head down walking up those stairs. i knew that i was going to be in for quite a view when i got to the top. my legs jelly at the height.

derrick plops down and throws me the deuces. down the slide he goes. my mouth is agape.

the top of the slide carnie hands me what looks like car flooring material. like car flooring that was ripped out this afternoon.

ok. so i'm just going to sit on this here edge with this fabric that i'd swear was car flooring and gooo....

dooooowwwwwn i went. this shit is slippery. the first bump almost launched me off the slide! i have a mini heart attack mid air. this is not like eating a peppermint patty refreshing. i tried to apply the brakes but that was pointless. i'm like in an old timey car and i just pulled the steering wheel off feeling. my momentum has me swerving into another lane. another mini coronary. i try to steer with the car upholstery fabric. i'm trippin. this ain't in no m-fing bobsled. this is a turquoise and pink m-fing slide!

i make it to the bottom and step lively. i'm cracking up. i am quick to use the word harrowing. no shame.

{ doper than dope }

summer lovin...happent so fast, had me a blast

J U L Y

we went to the sf giants county fair (on filipino heritage night). it was our first carnival together.

we both had corn dogs with mustard. played games and cheered each other on. a young filipino rapper took to the stage. derrick walked up and gave him a pound to show his support. when he returned to the table he said, "i wasn't scared. besides, i've got you." protection of the complexion. i suppose it doesn't hurt having a pinay girlfriend on filipino heritage night.


we went through the haunted house. all the gags were on his side of the car. the ride was over before our laughing. so onward to the fun house. you enter and are immediately in a glass closet of sorts. it was a small, maze of mirrors. it's funny peculiar when find yourself boxed in. much to our surprise the only way out was actually down. down a steep, spiral slide. there were several adults pooling at the bottom, scratching their heads at their method of exit. i looked around and had no choice. down the slide i went.

i won our first prize with a successful ring toss. he'd pick up a few more throwing darts at balloons or knocking milk bottles off their base. he'd ultimately give our prizes away, either to a rando child or in one case, to a parent for whom it was just the thing to soothe his child's temper.




we merrily-went-round. i rode on a cat eating a fish. he sat on a lion. and sat he did. the lion was fixed where as my cat rose up and down. yee! the carousel was empty sans us and two middle aged men. they were a pair of ditka's on their horsies.





i have considered the ferris wheel to be one of the more frightening attractions at a carnival. and it has nothing to do with g forces. if you've got some height anxiety, like me, the ferris wheel can feel like a psychological thriller, a total mind game. as it starts to climb, questions rise and bubble. how high up am i? is it too late to get off? how high is the sketch carnie operating this machine? are those kids gon rock the hell out of this wheel and break it?

let it all go or you'll miss the views and you'll be back on the ground wondering...about the air up there.





our first carnival. our first ferris wheel ride. eek! his first ride with my anxieties. i hold tight his hand and let him be strong for me.

i felt at ease. i felt protected. i exchanged anxiety for exhilaration.





from our little bucket in the sky, we pointed out the sights to each other. we marveled at the fog, as it spilled over peaks, quickly swallowing up tree tops and roof lines. the lights on the bay bridge blurred and twinkled as the fog drifted by.

i loved being up there with him. i was unafraid.





{ doper than dope }

summer lovin...happent so fast, had me a blast

J U N E

june had

dads & grads
beach & boardwalk
mystery spots
watermelon mist

step right, this way

so major. these are the shoes that my niece wore for her 8th grade graduation ceremony. patent-leather, sling back heel with bow.

{notes from graduation day}

a triumphant smile stretched (for a country mile) across her face as she strode into the auditorium. we scream. we yell. we, also, don't care if the cheap guy sitting in front of us turns around all ready to shoosh our shenanigans with his passive aggressive sideways eyes and sighs. verbal push did not come to verbal shove (i'm an ed lover not a fighter) as i might've launched him into Camp Air Horn territory (this family was not 'fraid to express themselves via horn. hilare! bwwwooong!)

i see her eyes squint as she scans the bleachers for familiar faces. we scream louder. we yell higher. we are heard! her smile leaps and loops behind her ears. her hands blur as they wave to us with frenzied excitement. i'd be better at choking back tears if it weren't for the lump of emotions already lodged in my throat.

there were speeches, speeches, and more speeches (including a miley cyrus reference! yee!). i use this time to touch up my face. there was also a lot of name calling. but not that kind. they called at least 100 names before they got close to you.

you rose and headed towards the stage. i hear your name. you shake a suited hand and grasp your diploma with the other. the smile stretches around the face and back again like one of jupiter's rings. we cheer loudly. we yell ever more loudly. when you take your seat, we are louder still.

i yell into your bones. my love and praise for you sent straight to the marrow for safekeeping and never forgetting.

you and your friends marched out as the band softly played, over the rainbow (hawaiian).

a full gymnasium of people want out. need out. it's a flesh mash. the crowd eventually spits us into a cluster fuck already in progress. clusters of tangled balloon bouquets, drivers in cars not checking their blind spots and leaning into horns (surprisingly, no air horns!), bright flower arrangements, wrapped in crisp plastic that you have to keep a minimum 3 feet perimeter around so as not to crush this shit you just bought on the street outside of the school, people with cameras and camera phones (and no sense to pull off to the side to handle their biznazz = death wish!) people with video cameras and flip cameras so they walk, backwards, with their hands out in front of them oblivious of their surroundings and their surroundings feet, people with old video cameras that you put up on your shoulder and strap in and asking their mortified children to hold cables and press down duct tape, people pulling, other people pushing back, people with out manners, little kids that just don't give a fack that you just graduated and only have a stink face for you because you will still be the suck to them. diploma shimploma.

the flesh mash lurched forward. it belched. then dissipated. we catch our breath. we roll our eyes. we go to the girl's bathroom (high school even!).

her feet are aching. she endures. she walks with poise across the quad. a girl after my own heart. she walks with out heels in her hand or bare feet. (jackie kennedy wore her chanel suit into the wee hours following the assassination of jfk, brain bits and all!) choosing to just walk it out. one's shoes are often too fly to be carried! someone once asked if it were a prerequisite that my shoes be painful. my feet can hurt but they won't look it.

my niece is book (4.0) and lady smart (double trouble!). she didn't take her shoes off because (could look disjointed or broken down), as any well heeled (and maybe a little blistered) lady will tell you, once you unleash the beasts, the beasts will get swoll and good luck getting this back into your strappy, higher than high confection.

she's expressing a certain pride of self that comes with developing your own style. standards that you maintain as part of your own individual swagger.

niece, you made it through much pomp and many a circumstances, the stay in school and just say no messages, the shy boys that want one picture with you and would you please ask your dad to stop mean muggin me, the both of your parents wanting separate pictures and awkwardly agreeing to one group shot, the grandma still has a film camera and needs for you to hold that pose while she puts a new roll in but firsts drops it back into the abyss that is her purse...pulls out juicy fruit instead, that's not it...just one mo' sec...it was right here...

niece, i know you're no longer quite a girl but you are well on your way to becoming a most awesome young lady.

{ doper than dope }