B E S T I E S

muni episode:

six in the mownin, 38 geary - the bus is barreling down an empty o'farrell street. a zombo crackhead is crossing the street (or in her case maybe the milky way or into the light) completely oblivious of the 28 ton behemoth bee-lining and steady hooonnkkkking at her. her pace does not react let alone quicken. the bus, still honking, veers to the left.

a fellow passenger stands up and says, "CRAAAZY! she's a crazy! it's all that soda in her head!" and laughs. he himself doesn't seem cracked out. i (and i'm sure a few of the other morning monsters), confirm this with a quick glance down at his foots area. when i see that they are not covered in paper bags and twine, i feel it ok to laugh too. so do the others. reason being, you never want to laugh or encourage a base head unless you're prepared to handle whatever kind of flashback or flurry of fists that may erupt.

as my dopez luck would have it, we're getting off at the same stop. having just met my "safe 'n sane footwear" criteria, i follow him off the bus. immediately upon disembarking, he starts grabbing at his ass area as if it were dispensing gum balls of shit. great gum balls of on-fire shit! turns out, it was all that soda in his pants.

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lyrical stylings: miss mariah

"then i'd best not catch this flick on YouTube (YouTuuuube)
'cause if you run your mouth and brag
about this secret rendezvous
i will hunt you dowwwwnn..."

i hear those words and i see this picture in my mind



except elmer is wearing clear heels and bugs is derek jeter. go figure.

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divo convos:

divo: you know who i'm going to call?
dopez: ghostbusters.
divo: i'm calling your mom.
dopez: ghostbusters?
divo: yes, yes i am.
dopez: so when she picks up, you're just going to say, hi ghostbuster?
divo: nope, just...ghostbuster.


dopez: what's that sleeping pill with the eating and driving side effects? i think i just took one.
divo: why? do you feel like eating?
dopez: no, i feel like driving.

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ageist:

teenage casanova hollering at females in front of the mall, "hey mami...oh snap, i mean, loook at auntie!"

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ipod (life) shuffle:

nearing the end of a tough workout, my ipizzle hands me a cup of water from the sidelines with

aaliyah: try again

"really?" i ask the universe and smile.

getting physical is a mental game. that's it. that's all. when i am lifting 10 more pounds 2 more times or standing still for 4 mo breafs, it's not just my arms or legs that i am marveling at buy my brain. my brain is what keeps me from flying off the treadmill. it's my brain that lets me cross that imaginary finish line into the arms of divo waiting with that foil blanket. it's also my brain that says, eh, do it tomorrow, you've got nothing left, it's too heavy, you are the suck. but then something like ipod shuffle jumps in my corner and i can drown it out. i'm getting a sense of its my power in a way i've never either felt or allowed myself to think possible to feel.